What is a High Quality Conversation?

The kind of conversation that provides the best context for a child to build his language and literacy skills is one in which:

• the adult and child are enjoying each other’s company.
• the adult follows the child’s lead by talking about what interests him.
• the adult and child take back-and-forth turns, keeping the conversation going for as long as possible.

Building Language and Literacy Skills

Now that we know the best context for language and literacy learning, what are some specific strategies you can apply during these conversations to build the key skills your child needs to learn, like vocabulary, critical thinking, reading comprehension and print knowledge?

Below are helpful strategies from The Hanen Centre’s Language and Literacy site.

Strategy #1: Make storytelling a part of your day.

Tip to apply this strategy: While visiting a place your child has been to before, encourage him to tell you what happened the last time he was there. Ask questions and make comments that help him clarify what he means and include all the important details. For example, “Oh, you played Frisbee the last time you were at this park! Who did you play with?”

What your child will learn:

• How to tell and understand stories, which is critical for both effective conversations and story comprehension.
• New vocabulary.
• More complex language (e.g., past tense).

Strategy #2: Make explanations part of your day.

Tip to apply this strategy: Ask your child to think of an explanation for the actions or emotions of a character in a book. For example, “Scaredy Squirrel seems really frightened to leave his nut tree. Why do you think he is so afraid?”

What your child will learn:

• An understanding of cause and effect.
• How to think critically.
• Story comprehension.
• New vocabulary.

Strategy #3: Get your child involved in solving problems.

Tip to apply this strategy: Draw your child’s attention to small problems that arise throughout the day and encourage him to think of solutions. For example, “Oh no, we’ve run out of glue to finish our art. What can we do?” When possible, give your child a chance to try out his solution, even if you think there’s a better one.

What your child will learn:

• How to think critically.
• New vocabulary.

Strategy #4: Talk about what could happen next.

Tip to apply this strategy: Ask questions and make comments throughout the day to encourage your child to predict what might happen next. For example, while visiting monkeys at the zoo, ask, “What do you think might happen if we walk right up to the glass? Do you think the monkey will come and say hello?” Wait for your child to respond, and then walk up together to see if the prediction was right.

What your child will learn:

• More complex language (e.g., future tense).
• How to predict what will happen next, which is important for story comprehension.

Strategy #5: Help your child see other perspectives.

Tip to apply this strategy: Help your child think about how others might feel by encouraging him to “put himself in the shoes” of another person or character. During book reading, you can ask your child what he would do if he found himself in the same situation as the book’s main character. For example, “If you were Gerald the giraffe, and all the other animals laughed at you and told you that giraffes can’t dance, what would you do?”

What your child will learn:

• Story comprehension.
• Empathy, which will help him communicate more effectively with others.

Strategy #6: Look for print all around you.

Tip to apply this strategy: Draw your child’s attention to print and written symbols during a pretend play activity. For example, you can help him set up a pretend grocery store using unopened packaged food items. Help him create signs out of cardboard or paper for each section of the store (for example, Fruit, Canned Vegetables and Cereal). Talk about why it’s important to have these signs in a grocery store.

What your child will learn:

• How print works (e.g., that print is read from left to right and that letters combine to make words.)
• That print corresponds to spoken language.

Strategy #7: Talk about letters and sounds.

Tip to apply this strategy: Choose a rhyming book like The Gruffalo to draw your child’s attention to sounds. Stress the rhyming words and then talk about them. For example, “He has terrible tusks, and terrible claws, and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.” Point to the words and say, “Do you see how the ends of the words sound the same? Claws sounds like jaws.”

What your child will learn:

• Sound awareness that will prepare him for reading and writing (e.g., understanding that words can be broken down into syllables and smaller sounds, and that letters correspond to certain sounds.)

Strategy #8: Making writing a natural part of your day.

Tip to apply this strategy: While your child is drawing or pretending to write on a piece of paper or chalk board, have a conversation about what he has done, asking questions and making enthusiastic comments. If he has drawn letters that don’t really look like letters, don’t worry about it – just encourage his attempts. Properly formed letters will come with time.

What your child will learn:

• That writing conveys a message.
• That written messages consist of letters that make up words.

Six-Step Checklist for Holding Powerful Conversations

The following checklist will help guide you in holding powerful and purposeful conversations. Use it before and during the conversation to help keep your purpose clear, the conversation safe, and your preferred outcome in sight.

1. Center: How will I remind myself to center before the conversation and to re-center periodically?
2. Purpose: What is my purpose? Is it a useful purpose?
3. Inquiry: What are some honest, open-ended questions I might ask my partner? What do I need to learn about how s/he sees this situation?
4. Acknowledgment: What feelings might surface that I can acknowledge? How will I remember to summarize?
5. Advocacy: What is my primary message? How will I tell my story while maintaining a respectful and non-judgmental stance?
6. Move to Action/Build Agreement: What are possible scenarios my partner might offer? What will I suggest? What is my preferred outcome?

Possible Openings

• I have something I’d like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together better.
• I’d like to talk about ____________ with you, but first I’d like to get your point of view.
• I need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
• I need your help with ____________. Can we talk about it (soon)? If they say, “Sure, let me get back to you,” follow up with them.
• (Third Story) I think we have different perceptions about ____________­­_.  I’d like to hear your thinking on this.
• I’ve noticed a recurring argument (conflict, disagreement, problem) we seem to have. I’d like to talk about why that happens.
• I’d like to see if we can reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your feelings about this and share my perspective as well.